It was the year when everything fell in its place. I pulled my shit together and finally, after 7 years after college, graduated. Somehow, I paid off my depths (most of them). I found flat with my own room in the center of Ljubljana (capital of my beautiful country Slovenia) and flatmates with similar mental disabilities. I found a job I was looking for 10 years, right in the city center, right next to the central market. I lived in the city I loved and adored, with only 10 mins walk to my job, through the old town. After my office job, I still managed to do some freelancing. It was the year when my best friend and I were single at the same time since we met. I traveled to my beloved India with 29 other amazing people in February and March and visited Sweden in July. During the weekends I was visiting my family and had a lot of fun with my friends. We enjoyed great food, wine, endless talks and lots of laughs. At the end of the year, I even met this tall, handsome and intelligent guy with dark long hair and the same passion for food, drinks, and stupid things. I had everything I ever wanted or at least what I thought I ever wanted.
But even If I had a great time in great company in the city I love with people I care, my spirit became more and more restless. In the evening I couldn’t fall asleep even though I was tired from sometimes 12 hours of work per day. In the morning I couldn’t get out of my bed, even If I wasn’t having late night dinner with my friend, no matter how beautiful day was outside.
And even with when I had everything in my life, that I could ever ask for and that initially made me happy I was still missing something. Because why would I have a heavy head in the evening and heavy legs in the morning when I was happy during the day? What was missing in my life? Purpose. All these eat, sleep, work, repeat habit wasn’t working for me.
But was is stronger in us, passion or habit?
I might not have found my purpose yet, but I sure know what has my passion been for the last 15 years: traveling. For some people traveling can’t be real passion because “how can you travel so much all the time?” But for me, traveling was one thing that I wanted and liked since I can remember.
If you could see my teenage room at my parents house, you would find there thousands of stamps I collected from all over the world since I was few years old. This was my way of traveling when traveling was not possible for me or so common in my social circle. With all these stamps I had a feeling I’m holding the whole world in my hand.
So for the first time in my life, I booked one way ticket to the place where I felt peaceful and happy at the same time. And another one way tickets to the place I longed visiting for years but the time was never right, or, If the time was right, the money was not there. Or I made a bunch of other excuses for myself.
Many people would ask me, why I’m leaving now (just now) when I have basically everything?
But what is life without little detour now and then?